Top, Top Banter
by IceArceus
Summary: Ash and the Kalos gang stop by in a little cafe for a bit of top top banter. Pearlshipping. This is the prequel to the likely upcoming sequel "A Banterrific Christmas". I don't own Pokemon.


**A/N: I deleted all my Fanfiction in a fit of rage because of really irritating haters, but then I realized that haters gonna hate, and now I'm writing again. However, I'm not going for serious Pearlshipping stuff anymore. Nope. This is anti Amourshipping banter with Pearlshipping (because I've totally learnt my lesson, not that there was a lesson to learn anyway because of FREE SPEECH) and if you're an Amourshipper and want to PM me etc etc because you don't like the comment then take it up with the Embassy of Bantarctica instead. **

On a bright sunny day in a beautiful albeit slightly emasculating café in Kalos, a strange looking gang of four kids in BO wreathed clothing stained with stuff that looked something like dirt were sipping tea and tucking into a variety of refreshments. The people around them glared as the scent of body odour due to weeks upon weeks of camping in the forest and not bathing filled the air.

The first boy, who was _obviously _the leader of the group, was called Ash Ketchum. He was from Banto which was to the east of Kalos, and he held the ultimate dream (on the side of his dreams of becoming Pokémon master of course) of being a member of the quartet known as the Banter Brigade, HQ in Banto. The kid was well versed in the world of Banter, earning the title of Archbishop of Banterbury while he had been in Sinnoh, traveling with banterous friends Dawn and Brock.

The second member of the group was the infatuated young girl with dirty blonde hair (both dirty when it comes to the colour and dirty when it comes to the stink arising from it) and a rather short skirt for a girl her age, with some rather raunchy looking stockings that turned more than one car in the car park if you know what I mean. This was Serena, and her dream was to become the best Pokémon performer ever, and marry Ash (and get him out of his banter phase).

The third member was Clemont, as well as his sister Bonnie, who might as well be the same person as his brother. The blonde haired boy had thick and sometimes creepily reflective glasses and wore a baby blue jumpsuit that _occasionally _made people wonder if he batted for the other team. Bonnie had on your regular little kid stuff but no detail will be disclosed because she's completely unimportant to the plot.

Now, back to the actual happenings of the story; Clemont and Bonnie had gone to talk to this bunch of kids and discuss Pokémon outside the café, not that this is a convenient plot point _at all. _Serena leant towards Ash, intending to confess and disclose some deliciously heart wrenching details of her deep teenage infatuations which must _definitely _be true love in her disgusting unwashed state.

"Ash" she whispered, the stinking breath from weeks of lack of dental hygiene wafting towards her intended beau's face. "I have something to say".

"Well say it quickly then." The boy quipped. "That breath is something that is _not _banter".

Serena clamped her hand over her mouth and shook her head, silently cursing her own stupidity.

"Ash, I just want to say… that I'm in love with you."

Ash looked astonished, then casual. "I kind of love you too, Serena, so let's go out."

"Really?!" Serena shouted, jumping about in a catatonic state that made people around them give each other _send the kid to the asylum _looks. "Yes! We'll go on so many dates and you can send me chocolates, and we'll SO get married and we can go out this Saturday. Right?" She asked, looking at Ash eagerly.

Ash looked sombre, and then slammed his fist on the table, shaking with uncontrollable laughter. "Hahaaahahahaha/lkh;/lkjhsd;iun ;lisdfjzhbAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahahahahaha" The boy almost died of asphyxiation and looked at the wannabe teenage wife with a _LOL _look on his face. "You nutter! I don't _actually _like you. That was just _for the bants. I actually like ...  
><em>

This is the moment where the reader inserts their ideal Pokegirl of course, but of course there's only one person this could be...

_Dawn."_

Serena's eyes watered and she burst into tears as she made for the toilet, crying her eyes out for her lost teenage infatuation, which was _basically _true love.

Ash shook his head and slammed his fist on the table a few more times, more lightly this time. "Top banter" he grinned to himself. "Top, top banter."

**A/N: Reviews are welcome, though if they are hater reviews then just remember this is for the bants.**


End file.
